Saturday, October 20, 2012

Horror B-Movie Watch List

(Screenshot from Gingerdead Man 3)

I love B horror movies, more so those of the creature variety. I love the terrible acting, the weak special effects, lack of good plot, and most of all, the horrible sense of scale (scale of the creatures never remains consistent).

I love that Netflix has a "B-Horror Movies" category, as well as a "Creature Features" category. Last night I went through the movies available for streaming in those categories and started compiling a list-of-awesome in honor of Halloween (although I'm sure I'll be watching these into November). As I watch the movies, I plan to share some screenshots from the movies that I deem worthy of the title "Awesomely horrible" (in separate blog entries but I will update this entry to link to the posts). The screenshots will contain spoilers, so, don't click their links if that bothers you.


Here is what is on my watch list so far (only half are creature movies), complete with their descriptions from Netflix:


Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (Click here for screenshot recap)
"When the prehistoric warm-water beast the Crocosaurus crosses paths with that cold-water monster the Mega Shark, all hell breaks loose in the oceans as the world's top scientists explore every option to halt the aquatic frenzy. Swallowing everything in their paths -- including a submarine or two -- Croc and Mega lead an explorer and an oceanographer on a wild chase. Eventually, the desperate men turn to a volcano for aid."

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
"What happens when a fast-food chicken franchise is built on a sacred Native American burial site rife with restless spirits? Zombie chickens! Now it's up to high school grad Arbie to find a way to destroy the featherless fiends."

Creature
"A group of friends partying in the wilds of Louisiana get into a fight for their lives when a beastly half-man, half-alligator that locals call Lockjaw comes searching for food -- and for a new bride!"

Pig Hunt (Click here for screenshot recap)
"A guys-only hunting weekend dissolves into insanity when the boys run up against fields of marijuana, crazed hicks, a hippie commune, a 3,000-pound killer boar and other high jinks in this unpredictable horror comedy."

Birdemic: Shock and Terror
"When sexy model Nathalie (Whitney Moore) and software guru Rod (Alan Bagh) head to a motel for an afternoon tryst, they are attacked by a flock of savage exploding eagles and other birds of prey in the first wave of an all-out avian war against humanity. As the lovers scramble to find food, water and safety, they team up with gun-toting campers to rescue a pair of orphaned kids. James Nguyen directs this low-budget indie thriller."

Bear
"When their minivan breaks down in the middle of the woods, Nick (Brendan Michael Coughlin), Sam (Patrick Scott Lewis) and their lovely girlfriends soon find themselves trying to escape from an enraged grizzly bear, which will stop at nothing until each one of them is dead. Full of convincing action scenes, this gripping survival thriller features real-life bears instead of computer-generated effects."

Piranha
"When an earthquake tears open the bottom of Lake Havasu, schools of carnivorous piranhas are released from their underwater lair, and the lake turns into a bloody, frenzied death trap for unwitting water-goers."

Alligator X
"When her father goes missing, Laura LeCrois is forced to return home after a 20-year hiatus. But when Laura decides to work the dying family business giving boat tours of the Louisiana swamp, she witnesses the most terrifying creature she has ever seen - a cloned Pliosaur dinosaur, affectionately known as Alligator X! Now, lost in the Louisiana wetlands, Laura must save her tour from a prehistoric predator that is supposed to be extinct!"

Rumpelstiltskin
"While browsing in an antique shop, a young mother (Kim Johnston Ulrich) comes across an unusually carved "wishing stone" that's too intriguing to resist. Little does she realize, however, that her one wish will free the demonic Rumpelstiltskin (Max Grodenchik), who's been trapped inside the rock for more than 500 years and who survives by eating babies. Now, the young mom has just three chances to guess the impish man's name or lose her child."

Assault of the Sasquatch
"In the woods of a state park, authorities arrest a ruthless bear poacher and impound his truck, not knowing the vehicle contains the legendary Sasquatch. All are shuttled back to the city precinct, where the vicious creature escapes. Determined to exact revenge on the man who snatched him from his habitat, the Sasquatch won't rest until he puts his "big foot" on the poacher's body. Jason Criscoulo plays the title creature."

Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver
"After cleverly escaping the maximum security research institute of Homicidal Baked Goods, the Gingerdead Man stumbles upon a time machine and finds himself sent back in time as he slaughters the contestants of a 1970's Roller Boogie contest."

Grizzly Park
"After tangling with the law, eight wayward strangers find themselves assigned to community service under the watchful eye of an avuncular park ranger. But among Grizzly Park's many dangers is a killer who's lurking in the shadows."

Mom
"Proving that flesh-eating monsters don't practice age discrimination, this black comedy tells the tale of elderly Emily Dwyer (Jeanne Bates), who takes a suspicious lodger into her Los Angeles home. After being bitten by him, she develops a taste for her son, Clay (Mark Thomas Miller). Desperate to keep his mother from committing homicide, Clay has her incarcerated, but after she escapes he must take matters into his own hands."

Pinocchio's Revenge
"After another long day in court, attorney Jennifer Garrick (Rosalind Allen) heads home with a strange piece of evidence: a wooden puppet stashed in the trunk of her car. But when her daughter Zoe (Brittany Alyse Smith) assumes the evidence is her birthday present and adopts the marionette as her newest toy, bodies begin piling up all around her. If Pinocchio is responsible for the carnage, who's pulling the strings?"

Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!
"When a strange cosmic event turns the citizens of Los Angeles into blood-drinking, flesh-eating, sex-starved zombies, a handful of cops and gang members form an unlikely alliance to fend off the insatiable undead. Soon the motley crew must make their way to a compound up the coast, where a scientist and his sexy daughter may hold the key to survival. C. Thomas Howell stars in this indie horror-comedy."

Bikini Girls on Ice
"When their bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere, a bunch of bikini-clad college coeds make their way to a boarded-up gas station, where an axe-wielding madman corners them and starts hacking his way from one beauty to the next."

Zombie Women of Satan
"After her sister is kidnapped by a bizarre cult, rock singer Skye Brannigan (Victoria Hopkins) sets out to find her. The members of freaky burlesque troupe Flesharama become involved in the hunt, and soon they're all attacked by a flock of gorgeous zombie women. Led by Satan and their insane creators, the Zander family, the zombies won't stop the carnage until their lust for blood and guts is fully satisfied in this gory horror flick."

Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives
"After psychotic bigots brutally beat them, Bubbles Cliquot (Krystal Summers), Tipper Sommore (Jenna Skyy), Rachel Slurr (Willam Belli) and Emma Grashun (Erica Andrews) vow to seek vengeance in this campy thriller. Now the empowered transgender divas won't let anything stop them from settling the score. Israel Luna directs this controversial film that was an official selection at the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival."

Stripperland
"Fleeing the wrath of man-eating vixens who've taken over the world, a ragtag caravan of refugees (Ben Sheppard, Maren McGuire, Jamison Challeen and Ileane Herrin) makes its way across the country to the relative safety of the West Coast. But en route, they're attacked by unrelenting waves of starving strippers. If looks could kill ... well, let's just hope they can't. Gilbert Gottfried and Daniel Baldwin co-star."


And if I had not already watch it, this would have been on my watch list:


2-Headed Shark Attack
"Terror takes a ghastly form when a gigantic two-headed shark sinks a ship full of students, and the survivors wash up on a tiny atoll. But just when the kids think they're safe, a tsunami sweeps them back into the deep to face the twin jaws anew."

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